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As we were heading back to our little tin can to whisk away to the Thai section, several of Alvin’s union chaps decided the best way to murder him would be with an anti-tank weapon, which they promptly setup and started firing at him…. IN THE STATION.
Of course it was no surprise, but that wrenched open a gigantic hole in the station, whereby I fought not to be sucked out into the void of space. That lesbian woman with us really needs to learn how to use her lasso!
All but Alvin made it into the shuttle. He had this grand idea of fixing a gigantic hole in the station with…. I believe it was nothing. Quickly realizing the reality of this boffo plan, he rode the can, like an American cowboy, over to another ship that was damaged in the blast.
When we boarded this other ship, there was some sort of nano infection that Alvin eventually neutralized. We then discovered a large amount of cocaine on the ship, whereby our Lesbian pilot and the new Advocate General for the Pope decided to indulge themselves.
We decided the best thing to do to help uncover the mystery of this ship’s condition was to awaken the, what we thought was, AI pilot. I was under the false impression the attack only targeted the biological entities on board, and thus the artificial life forms were complicit in their murder. It was the American’s, Alvin, fault for this because he withheld the fact the nano attack also targeted the ship itself, which was Lloyd.
His named turned out to be Lloyd. Taking the necessary precautions, we severed Lloyd from the rest of the ship, so he wouldn’t be capable of blowing all the air out into space and flying along on his merry way. When awakened, he was very upset, which I and Wallace found baffling, since it was only a temporary condition, much like bad case of gas.
Well, an angered AI certainly isn’t one to talk, so our discussion turned to what to do with him. During this time, I realized that Lloyd was a victim of the nanotech, so naturally my course of action was to argue to have him reconnected with the ship and we would be on our way. The American would have none of that. He wanted to take the cocaine from the belly of Lloyd. I argued it wasn’t ours to take and that Lloyds position was essentially this:
He woke up to have his anesthetized head severed from his body by some hoodlums. After they argued what to do next, they were going to reattach his head only when he agreed to allow them to take the cupcake from his belly.
A boarding by, I can only presume the TSA, ended our arguments while Alvin quickly tried to reconnect Lloyd to the ship. The pope’s lawyer, gun aiming at the invader’s head, realized they were part of a hive mind and killing one would be as if he killed one bee of thousands… useless.
Oh, by the way. The chaos in and around the Republic seems to be due to a large scale memetic war. It really is a distinct pleasure to be serving the King in this time of darkness.
Forever your humble servant,
Winston Blair & trusted friend and companion Wallace, AI
PS There are twenty artificial life forms who are part of the “Librarians” or some such society, on board as well. Lloyd was kind enough to give up that information.
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